To dare to disturb the universe with an original, strong, beautiful, smart, funny, and fun beauty and health site.

Daring because it’s created and written by An Actual Journalist with world-class medical, beauty, and journalist advisors.

Universal because we’re connecting real beauty and health information with real women and girls who care about those things as much as we do.

As for our name, More Lovely. It was inspired by Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18: 

 

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely…

In our context, this means you were born lovely. So you’re already lovely. And you can be more with the right guidance, experts, and products.

Let us go then, you and I.

Ask Mama Cubana Week 6

Ask Mama Cubana Week 6

Gigi Anders
Ask Mama Cubana

By Gigi Anders

Being the child of a Cuban mother means being subjected to profanity early and often. Not because you did something bad, necessarily. Cuban Spanish is simply filled with casual vulgarities woven into everyday speech.

Here are the basics:

You kind of get immune to coño, a multipurpose curse as common as café con leche. Since every Mama Cubana is always loud, in a hurry, and speaks in exclamation marks, coño often gets condensed to ño! Depending on which syllable gets accentuated, it can mean dammit, wow, or ouch. Coño! We’re running late and you’re wasting time! CoñññOOO! Your room looks so tidy and clean! Ño, I just stubbed my freshly-pedicured toes on your toy!

Que mierda may loosely (and politely) translated to What a dump/piece of crap/disappointment. You go to a movie and there’s stale popcorn on the floor/ you notice the crusts haven’t been trimmed off your kid’s friend’s birthday sandwiches/the contents of the box of chocolates you mailed to your Mama Cubana arrive melted. Que mierda.

There is also comemierda, or shit eater. It is used as a synonym for fool, sucker, or the imbecile going too slow in front of Mama Cubana in traffic.  

H.P., or Hijo de Puta, literally means Son of a Whore, but to show restraint, you can say the acronym, pronounced. ah-cheh-PEH. A guy cuts in front of Mama Cubana while she’s driving.

Carajo or vete p’al carajo is fuck or go fuck yourself. Mama Cubana gets a flat tire and she can’t find her AAA card or her cell. What’s more, she could miss happy hour at The Cheesecake Factory.  

Joder. Mama Cubana’s personal favorite, as it has so many uses. Coño, no me jodes mas! Dammit, stop fucking annoying me! Que jodedera. What a clusterfuck. Te jodistes. You’re fucked.

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese may not be Cuban, but they could be. According to the company’s recent survey, 74% of moms swear in front of their kids, and swear more than dads. And that’s okay!

Just ask moms Hilary Duff, Busy Philipps, and Jenny Biggs.

With Mothers Day upon us, go to Kraft Mac & Cheese – Swear Like a Mother to download and create three hilarious cards any mother – especially a Mama Cubana – will love.

Happy Mothers Day, coño!  

Mothers, Daughters, and What They Really Want

Mothers, Daughters, and What They Really Want
No Such Thing As Too Long Lashes for Middle East Gals

No Such Thing As Too Long Lashes for Middle East Gals

Related Posts